Two Weeks of Illness and What it Has Taught Me

I am a snivelling, coughing, achy mess and have been for the past 13 days straight. Today I sat on my office floor and coughed until I thought I was going to be sick with tears running down my face as I heaved fruitlessly trying to stop the coughing.

If that sounds dramatic it's because after nearly two weeks and TWO walk-in doctor appointments with almost no change in my symptoms... I feel dramatic.

I have always been a firm believer in not going to the doctor for every little cold. These things have to run their course so I will rest, drink lots of water and tea and eat lots of soup. Oh, and at night I will take Advil cold and sinus- I am not above getting as much sleep as possible.

After my fever climbed to a whopping 102.5 the second day of my cold, I didn't hesitate to go to the walk-in the very next day. Only to be told... to come back if I don't "feel better" in three days. This translated to me not going back until I couldn't hear out of one ear. Which resulted in an ear infection and drops that aren't actually treating the rest of my awful symptoms. Which has resulted in my going BACK to the doctor for a THIRD time (but this time to my family physician who is amazing) tomorrow morning.

All this to say that I have a renewed appreciation of individuals with:
a) Hearing loss. After effectively blocking most sound from my right ear and some in my left, my already damaged hearing was completely shot. Trying to focus at work was painful- I barely heard what others were saying and was constantly saying "pardon me?". I tried to order a coffee that day and misheard the barista twice before I was able to confirm what I had ordered and what I wanted. I had no idea how loudly or softly I was speaking and felt very much adrift. Hearing loss is an invisible difficulty and we forget just how much we take hearing for granted.

b) Living with chronic illness: Now this is definitely only a peak into such a life. But even my (very) brief two weeks of constant aches, pains and illness where I continued to go to work, be social, go to a birthday party, do chores and spend time with my husband- gave me a whole sense of renewed humility to how those with chronic illness or pain must live. Every little thing exhausts me, but I never get enough sleep due to coughing or congestion. I am thankful that, except for this, I am a healthy person and I thank the Goddess for it more so each day.

So. That has been my life recently. Yoga on the backburner, accepting that simply drinking tea and resting isn't always the solution to sickness.

I am so thankful 2013 is over.

I am going to be honest, I am so thankful 2013 is over.

I was going to peruse my blog posts for the past year and try to pull some themes. Except... there are really a few overarching events that standout in my mind that have influenced my life in 2013. One of which I've kept secret, and although I'm not ready to share here, publicly, yet- this one, extremely difficult, thing has shadowed everything I've done over the past year.

2013 saw a change in my career: my job was reduced to part time for five months which was difficult financially for Andrew and I. Although I put myself out there for a private practice, I was fortunate to get another part time component in September and this has proven another challenging and rewarding career decision.

Andrew and I have purchased a house- 2013 marked a definite year of grieving the end of urban (and "youthful") living. I'm hopeful that the emotions that have arisen over the past year around this decision have allowed me to prepare for this new change. Now more than ever I feel ready to leave apartment living and welcome the privacy of living in the Quiet of semi-rural.

My yoga practice has become 100% home practice, mostly due to financial reasons. Despite this, due to the emotional instability and general high level of stress throughout the year, I have learned little about my body and my practice in 2013. This past year has been about surviving and for the first time in five years I have broken out in hives and have seen the return of night terrors.

Looking forward in 2014, I feel it's time to take back some space for me and move beyond "survival mode" into nourishing mode. Already I have taken steps with various medical appointments with my fabulous new GP (who is bilingual!) for January, a follow up with my Naturopath (who has forever changed my quality of life- I am now a believer), and a slow return to a more dedicated yoga and creativity practice.

What I have learned in 2013? That holding onto grief doesn't help. That perfectionism doesn't help and that my career is not the measure of who I am. What my body can and can't do shouldn't shape my ability to be happy.

Lately I have been finding joy in the every day moments, conversations and interactions. I have been feeling content with my yoga practice consisting of playing the guitar, laughing with friends and relaxed evenings watching movies with the love of my life.

I have been moving on and letting go.

A Blog-cation, An Imaginary Forest Path and a Music Video

Why hello there!

It has been a while eh? This past month (and truly the lead up has been longer) has been an interesting one. For the first time in over four years I just haven't blogged. I thought I would miss it... and once I decided I was taking a blog-cation, the guilt over not posting disappeared and if I were 100% honest, it was a glorious vacation.

It was what a blog-cation is meant to be: refreshing, relaxing and allowing myself to come back to this beautiful space and such fabulous readers invigorated and ready to write again.

It is true that after four years of posting several times a week on the environment and yoga, eventually it feels like I have covered all I have to say on the two topics.

But... it's not exactly true now, is it? I still have sh*t to say (woot!). I'm excited to share some of the things I've done over this past month (like the ridiculously HOT yoga at the park last Sunday, or the fact that YITP was featured in Chatelaine a few weeks ago- wtf??). I'd love to share a bit more about everyday things, the small pleasures, and am hoping to make a few changes to the look of this space to reflect this renewal.

I am definitely not the same person I was 4 years ago. I am in a different place in my yoga practice and in a different place in what I want from life.

I am ready to take those next, uncertain toddles... veering off one set path for another, slightly more exhilarating journey!

(Do you ever imagine your "paths" in life? I do. I picture a wooded forest filled with Atlantic Canadian trees- not the giants of BC- with forest floors that are filled with ferns, berry bushes like raspberries and blackberries and smaller conifers. It smells like green leaves, moss covered logs and christmas trees. Small brown squirrels, chipmunks along with bluejays, american goldfinches, purple finches and humingbirds flit through and chirp in the branches. Through this a one person, earthen and twisty, meandering path cuts though, veering off into alternate paths- either straighter or sometimes more twisty and filled in. No? Just me? Sigh, you are missing out!)

AND on that note- I feel like we should share this exciting return with a most fabulous, rousting song by Lisa LeBlanc. Cuz a) she's Acadian b) her name rocks and c) I love this song :)

Pourquoi le français acadien n'est pas le 'franglais'

C'est quoi le français acadien?

Une chose que ce n'est point, c'est un mélange du français pis l'anglais.

Souvent, je me suis demandé si le français acadien ce n'est-y pas seulement le franglais... Pis avec la promulgation des groupes musicaux acadiens comme RadioRadio et Lisa LeBlanc, qui utilisent des mots en anglais dans leurs chansons, il y a eu récemment toute une réaction négative de la francophonie d'ailleurs (médias Québécois en particulier). (ps- euj LOVE Lisa LeBlanc et RadioRadio- juste pour le 'record').

Ça fait trois ans que je présente dans des communautés acadiennes sur pourquoi c'est ok de parler à leur enfant en acadien, et encore, pourquoi le français acadien n'est pas un 'mauvais' français.

Le français acadien c'est presqu'une autre langue... si on y considère strictement d'une façon linguistique (et non pas 'politique'). En plus des différences d'accent et de vocabulaire, il y a des différences de grammaire. Et non, ce n'est pas uniquement des anglicismes, mais plutôt des archaïsmes. Il y a des règles qu'il faut suivre, qui nécessite que le français acadien n'est pas incorrect dans le sense d'une langue.

(Mon 'vlog début'... eek!)

Je comprends à 100% pourquoi quelqu'un qui n'a jamais, jamais entendu mon accent, pourrait croire que c'est un accent d'une anglophone qui essaie de parler en français... c'est un accent bizarre d'un village isolé de moins de 2000 personnes. Mais moi, si j'entends une personne deuxième langue français à côté de quelqu'un de shu nous j'entends la différence. C'est juste que mes /r/ ne sont pas cracher pis un peu plat et euj twang mes voyelles nasales. Les francophiles, français deuxième langues ne font point ça.

Itou, mon accent à moi, ce n'est pas le même qu'un accent de quelqu'un de Wedgeport qu'est 45minutes de route de shu-nous. Ni le même qu'un accent de Saulnierville, de Chéticamp, d'Arichat, ou de Pomquet.

(Eric Surette, chanteur et compositeur acadien des îles-Surettes avec sa chanson 'Mon dernier pêche'= des beaux exemples de passé simple, vocabulaire acadien, un autre accent que le mien ET l'utilisation des mots en anglais)

Finalement, sur le sujet du 'franglais'. Oui- beaucoup d'acadiens utilisent des mots en anglais lorsqu'on est confortable, lorsqu'on est créatif, lorsqu'on communique entre nous. Car, pour la majorité de nous, nous avec notre histoire de déportation, on vie dans un monde 'anglais'. On est bilingue. C'qui n'est pas une faiblesse, mais une force: au lieu de seulement une langue, moi j'ai accès à deux pour m'exprimer. En plus, il y a des règles à suivre pour insérer des mots en anglais- et où il y a des règles; il y a une sorte de 'grammaire' et niveau de 'correcte'.

Ainsi qu'être bilingue, les acadiens sont un peuple humble et par culture et histoire 'cols-bleu'. C'qui veut dire que l'utilisation de mots 'techniques' ou d'un haut niveau en français est souvent considéré culturellement et socialement comme un 'snobbisme'. Oui, on sait qu'un 'van' en français c'est une fourgonnette... mais qui'ce qui dit 'euj décollirent dans notre fourgonnette' anyway?

Psst: Strong is the New Skinny, Pass it On!

"This Trendy "Strong is the New Skinny" Thing (and what it could mean for the next generation of girls"

I just read the most badass article above and I have to share it with you. No really. It was ridonkulously amazing. If you are a woman, if you are a HUMAN, you should read this.

I feel that Sophie's message, besides being so entertainingly, yet poignantly written, is an important one to share. Important for the girl I was and the woman I am. For all my other girl-woman peeps who struggle with body image, disordered eating and self-esteem. So I'm sharing my perspective, my take, with you.

What if: "Strong is the new skinny"

Yes. Exactly. What if, when I was a girl, I was told to strive to be strong instead of thin. What if the message society gave me was that a strong woman was of ultimate value. Would my adolescence, my early twenties, have been different?

If you read my blog, you know that I've struggled with disordered body image and eating my entire life. Oh, it's not clinical- I've never demonstrated symptoms to the clinical level. But raise your hand (mentally) if you've: a) known someone who lost their period due to weight loss b) looked in the mirror and wailed internally over your fat-ugly______ c) felt proud that you skipped a meal d) felt happy that your jeans were loose e) gone on a fad diet, or any diet f) felt that your current weight or body shape, whatever it was, just needed a bit of improvement g) heard someone say that the best part of having the stomach flu was the weight that you lost....

Yup, yup, yep, been there for all of them.

After devouring countless books and research articles on feminism, body image, female health and our relationship historically and culturally with the media, I am a strong believer that this "body type ideal" of tall, thin and waif-like is enforced upon us artificially by the beauty, fashion and advertising industry along with a healthy dose of patriarchy valuing women for extrinsic qualities such as ideal beauty and as sexual objects.

In a way, this can be viewed as a positive thing. Unlike evolutionary psychological theory (which honestly I feel is a load of self serving, patriarchal, narrow-minded crap- we are not apes and behaviours that *may* have occurred a millennia ago can be explained by the-very different- social construct, brain and cognitive development and lifestyles homo sapiens led: ie social and culture and NOT irreversible genetics) our social mores and culture can CHANGE.

What if girls are told from a young age to be strong, intelligent, caring, courageous instead of thin, pretty, "nice" and gentle? My thinnest moments were when I was stressed and unhappy and I know for a fact I was not eating enough to nourish my brain- which obviously results in poor cognitive functioning, problem solving, emotional regulation and concentration.

You know what was my fucking unicorn moment? When my unflexibility forced me to improve significantly in my strength endurance in yoga. When I looked in the mirror and saw the gorgeous MUSCLES in my back and arms. When I could hold dolphin plank longer than my weight lifting husband. It was like suddenly the fear of 'bulking up' (which is a ridiculous myth btw) disappeared into the excitement of being fucking STRONG. 

Just last night I poked my belly to feel my awesome abdominal muscles I've been building. I may have even showed them off to Andrew. I am so excited with my body right now, and I am currently at my "heaviest" and highest dress size.

This is to say that I feel it's a bit DESPITE yoga. I know. But I feel the focus on yoga asana (for the most part) in popular western yoga is to be thin, lose weight, "toned". Even the examples of strong yoginis we have as famous role models are still (white) thin and strong. (Now, we know there are some strong fabulous yoginis who are bucking the system- I heart you! We need MORE of you!).

This is where Sadie's snarky post at Huffpo makes me cringe. Perhaps instead of making others feel like yoga is the ONLY solution to being strong and healthy, we should simply encourage women to be STRONG however best that works for them. Our bodies and selves do not fit in a cookie cutter mold, one size fits all model. So why assume yoga to be the panacea in this diverse reality?

Strong is the new Skinny- Pass it On.

Learning to be passionate without offending: A Journey

Yesterday, Mama Hayes and I were out and about, doing cool stuff like we do, and we had a fantastic chat about how to share our beliefs without peeving people off.

Rewind ten years ago. I was in third year university and easily combustible (I am now only at medium combustion level). This passionate, quick to defend, argue and confront (and get offended) was the result of my discovery about what my core belief systems were and the shock and despair that others I trusted and valued did not feel the same as me.

I thought that if I just explained sufficiently others would see my (obviously correct) way of thinking. Instead these "discussions" spiraled into arguments that resulted more often in not in me getting upset and feeling ridiculous. My breaking point was in 2005 where my at the time boyfriend's roommates started baiting me on purpose with misogynistic comments or strategically placed articles on the fridge since my anger was such a sure entertainment.

I gave up completely trying to change people's minds. I avoided all IRL discussions about feminism, climate change, politics and religion beyond to state how I felt. At one point I remember an audiologist asking me if as a pagan I "believed in the sun and shit". It was offensive and I wasn't ready to share something so personal with someone I knew would be condescending. I told him I didn't want to talk about it- which felt a bit cowardly.

Neither was this hiding productive. The "EcoYogini" blog has helped bring a measure of balance here, where in this space I get to write and share what I am passionate about with a (99% of the time) fantastic readership and commenting peeps.

I have realized that I can still stay true to what my beliefs are without impinging them on others. Yes, I am disappointed that many still believe that feminism is either wrong or no longer necessary. That our environment and planet isn't in dire needs of protection and our lifestyles needn't change.

I can also recognize, however, that I don't like being made to feel a) stupid or b) guilty. I can understand why sometimes it's hard to make changes, and who am I to know what another person experiences in their daily life?

Half the time when someone comments in a defensive way on my blog (or on something I post on facebook) it's because I have implied that what they are doing or believe in is 1) wrong or 2) harmful. Many people are essentially good (I believe this in any case) and don't go out to abuse other people (feminism topics) or ruin the health of their family and planet.

Empathy means a really pragmatic dose of putting yourself in someone else's shoes (to a certain limit) without judgement.

For example, I no longer am offended when someone tells me they are praying for my soul. If I believed that only souls who are saved will experience "Heaven" and all others will suffer, I would find it extremely distressing that someone I cared about was going to suffer in the afterlife. Praying for me doesn't harm me, or impinge on my belief in the Goddess.

So. Back to how should we share what we are passionate about without offending? Social media is a funny place- it's difficult to gage reactions, to control how information is taken and to immediately clarify. People will get offended, and if you care about them, apologizing for offending is always a good step. We don't do that enough.

And perhaps it's useful to recognize when it makes sense to respond and when it makes sense to let it go. Not everyone needs to think exactly as I do. Not everyone should practice yoga. It's ok. We all have different and valuable perspectives to bring to our relationships.

It's insulting and demeaning to the other person to assume that they don't feel or think the same way you do because they simply lack certain knowledge or education.

(In the end, if a person is being particularly offending on facebook, trolling you, you can always simply click the "unfriend" button. Are they worth the drama in your life?)

Fear in the Path of Change

I am currently in a bit of a crisis mode. Just a teeny one.

You see... for the first time in my entire career (and as a student), I will be working part time, not by choice. Today was my first day of working parttime.

Although I knew this was coming (and there are appropriate circumstances in this situation where a reduction was expected), logistically and financially I will admit it's a little bit frightening. Andrew is still in university, paying tuition and working as much as he humanly can to help out. Nevertheless, a 50% reduction in my pay will have a huge impact in our ability to live in the city.

I know we'll make it work (we have budgets for that)... but the journey to today has been long. We've had to accept that our down payment for our first home savings may have to go towards keeping afloat over the next few months. I have to consider opening a private practice for the first time. And tonight I had to accept that I may have to apply for other jobs not in my ideal population.

When I think back to my time straight out of graduate school applying for jobs, I was fearless. Of course, I wasn't tied to any one place and was pretty darn confident in the awesomeness of my skills and professional ability. Oh, that confidence is still there (I do love my job), but now I have the added complication of assuring my place as 'francophone'.

I'm finding it surprising how our stories about who we are may get stuck, reloop in our heads and struggle to evolve. It's difficult to let go of old hurts, of how we used to see ourselves... and to accept who we are in this moment while allowing space for who we could be. I really want there to be space for who I could be.

Je suis une acadienne, je pense en acadien, j'écris en français et je vois le monde différemment qu'une francophone du Québec ou de la France. Ma culture acadienne me définie et m'enrichie.

I'm also bilingual. I think in English, I write in English and having both English and French as part of my identity allows an even richer and more colourful view of how my world works.

Right now I'm scared about failing as a francophone, as a homeowner, as a wife, as a potential mother to be, as a yogini, as an environmentalist.

But without fear, how do we advance past complacency?

Change is scary, and this fear must be the result of change and uncertainty. Out of this will come growth... which in the end will make me a better, stronger person. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Femmes-Action! Singing My Yoga

Typically not a fan of resolutions, (and I am definitely not a fan of 'The Secret') I do happen to love it when secret resolutions are accomplished.

This year my goal was to perform. I am so happy to say tomorrow will be my second performance in six months!

(me at JustUs! last summer!)

Last summer I performed at JustUs! Coffee House for two hours... it was fun and I had fabulous friends there to support me.

Tomorrow evening, in celebration of International Women's Day, I'll be performing in FRENCH for 20minutes as the closing act for 'Femmes-Actions'... Woo!

(Mon deuxième amour... ma guitare)

(le premier étant Andrew, of course!)

Alors, si vous êtes dans les alentours, venez participer dans une soirée 'pre-ECMA' au Carrefour à Dartmouth! Il y aurait des concours d'artistes francophones, des présentations ET une fabuleuse finale par moi- vingt minutes de chants en français :) Oh, j'étis dit que c'est gratuit?? 18h30 à 20h30 (spectacle de 20h00 à 20h30!).

Searching for the "Real-Ness" in 2013

2013... the suspicious fisherman's daughter in me really doesn't like that "13"... but then, can take the girl out of the rural and such.

People tend to like to recap and move forward. Generally I think this can be a wonderful idea, especially if you journal. But I'm thinking I'll keep the majority of mine private... just because I'm a bit hipster that way- don't want to do it if it's already been done.

What I will say, though, in relation to this blog, is that 2012 definitely saw a HUGE step back in my yoga practice. I think I attended a grand total of 8 in person classes the entire year. Wouldn't you know we also managed to save way more money towards our future eco-home this year. Are the two related? I would think so.

What yoga means today just really doesn't resonate with me anymore. The spiritual side doesn't speak to me, it just makes me think of vacuous pop psych one liners and insincere platitudes ("negative people are our teachers" blegh).

I really really am just craving something extremely sincere (I won't say "authentic" because that word has lost all meaning in it's co-option)... and the general trendy yoga isn't cutting it.

I'm still practicing yoga though. Just in my home, using yogaglo, with my peeps. I'll still attend the sporadic classes and try to find REAL books that resonate with real-ness. Who knows- 2013 may bring a reconnection and resurgence of everything YOGA. I'm hopeful this is the case.

So, to end this cranky pants blog post on something fantabulous, here are a few things to look forward to here at little old EcoYogini underverse:

• a few more posts on reading, the kindle, and the general fantabulous of Goodreads
• Some goodness on the Naturopathic overshare journey
• Hopefully a few more adventures and natural beauty- I'm thinking shampoo is next...
• At least TWO more live performances in Halifax at coffeeshops
• At least FIVE more songs written (that I like)
• Speaking more French to Andrew and my friends on a regular basis.
• Starting to plan a mini EcoYogini creation... (hopefully for 2014)...

(just ignore where Atreyu is wandering in the photo... this is my "I have galaxy leggings!" pose)

Bonne Année!

A PostNatal Yogi Wannabe

There are so many different flavours of yoga- and interestingly for the most part they are all open for the trying. In fact, unless you're an ashtangi, it's considered bad yoga form to judge a style without first trying it out.

Of course, following that was what got me in the "hot yoga" mess, which led me to the conclusion that, well, hot yoga is crappy for the environment. Considered it judged.

One style of yoga that definitely has it's own "club" is pre-post natal. You can't really fake your way into that one (without being a total d-bag).

My first pre-natal yoga class was about three years ago... in my living room with YogaGlo. Look, I can explain: my favourite YogaGlo teacher had stopped posting classes and the only options left were her prenatal classes. I glanced surreptitiously around my living room, as if the Prenatal Yoga Police were going to come rushing out waving their "SHAME ON YOU" signs, took an embarrassed breath, prepared mentally to laugh my entire way through and.... LOVED it.

Yep, that was an amazing, fantabulous class.

Weird.

Fast forward to the past few months and another of my favourite YogaGlo teachers is going on a pre/post natal class spree. So... as one cat judged me quietly from Andrew's chair and the other blindly attacked my legs, I prepared myself to be weirdly happy during a class meant for new mothers.

(Asteya, the true ruler of this apartment, sitting on her throne as her lowly human servant Andrew checks his facebook)

It's not like I would actually have the gall to attend an in-studio pre/post natal yoga class. A) they wouldn't allow me to B) if I lied I would be a total d-bag and C) that would be way beyond disrespectful for all the new/expectant mothers to be (which is actually the main deterrent, I have much respect for mothers).

But I can enjoy them, like a weird guilty pleasure, from the comfort of my own living room. And recently, with my friend who has reached awesome new mother status, I can totally legitimately  enjoy post natal yoga classes... (yes, I recognize this is getting a bit creepy...)

I guess the message, really, is that yoga is yoga. Target audience not withstanding, if the teacher is great, the class with be great.

I mean, I know I can definitely learn a thing or two from mothers...

Any guilty yoga secrets you'd like to share?

article and photograph copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

Taking a Leap of Music

I always said I'd never become one of those people who "didn't have time for music" when I "grew up".

For the past four years I've become one of those people.

It's true, I don't have 45minutes a day to practice the piano, another 40min of vocal warmups. Plus, there's the added embarrassment that my apartment building neighbours will hear the terrible AH-EH-EE-OH-OU warmups along with the annoying piano scales. I didn't recognize how different it would be working full time, living in an apartment building, having friends (ok, elementary and high school was rough for me) and being in charge of making my own meals when teenage me made that vow.

It had been four years since I'd written ANYTHING.

This year, I made the vow to write lyrics at least once a week- even if they never turned into a song. Six months later and I've written two songs in the past three weeks. One of them is actually decent. ROCK ON.

Another step back onto the path of my music life is to take a deep breath and beg local coffee shops to let me play. This is scary because a) I haven't performed in four years and b) I'm 30 and c) the Halifax music scene is not an easy place for newcomers.

It's happening!

On Friday, July 27th, I will be singing and playing at JustUs! Spring Garden from 7pm-9pm... Holy Goddess. 

(My set list and songs on my guitar- with Asteya monitoring- wee!)

It's a trifecta, music, yoga and Green- JustUs! offers locally roasted, fair trade organic coffee and teas that taste delicious, actively offer their beverages in for-here mugs FIRST and have a great recycling/composting program set up in the coffee shop. So environmental angle- covered.

Leaping back into music is an important part of my emotional and spiritual growth as well, which plays directly into my yoga practice. I will most certainly be frantically trying to use pranayama calming and grounding techniques so I won't be vomiting in a little brown bag before I start up. Deep breathing and meditation all.the.way.

Have you leapt into anything lately?

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

Casseroles for Environmental Rights

No one likes to read blog posts about politics and voting. No really, it's true (I have stats and minimal comments to prove it). Which is unfortunate, really, since by plugging our ears and shouting 'lalalalala!' on the increasingly depressing Conservative government we're allowing our country to do a whole slew of nasty things to our health, women's rights and the environment.

Yep, I will admit that I honestly hate hearing about what the Harper Government has in store for us each day. I no longer see myself in the political and social stance that my country's government is setting in place. For whom did Harper government back out of the Kyoto Agreement? Or cut thousands of environmental protection and Parks Canada jobs? Or put forth in a sneaky bill a drastic reduction in environmental regulation, policing in conjunction with mass scientist muzzling?

Definitely not it's citizens. Not for me.

Bill c-38, which the government is trying to push through WITHOUT citizen input or debate includes five scary changes and reasons to speak out (from BlackOutSpeakOut ou SilenceOnParle and why The David Suzuki Foundation is Speaking Out):

1. While they are cutting funding left and right to environmental protection agencies, the Harper government is funding 8 million dollars into the Canada Revenue Agency to police and audit charities and non-profit organizations (such as the David Suzuki Foundation)... making it more difficult for them to exercise their right to advocate for environmental policies and change. (um, don't see them upping the policing for oil companies now do we?).
2. Our participation in a democratic system is being completely ignored. Supposedly there is a well established process for citizen involvement and debate when it comes to such sweeping changes (unfortunately, my political involvement is really only since the days of a conservative minority government, so having an open democratic government almost seems utopic to me). Shockingly, the government has put forth these drastic changes in one massive budget bill... that doesn't allow any citizen input. At all.
3. The Canadian Environmental Assessment Act will be replaced... with something that has much less policing and investigation of new projects and new substances while allowing the government to 'ok' whatever new projects come their way (i.e. money making, polluting Big Oil projects). This means that our government will no longer be adequately protecting us against toxins and pollutants nor will they be safeguarding the country we live in and the resources that we depend on. 
1. Americans, this implicates you as well. Harper's push to get the oil sands piped to the US? That was WITH the current environmental assessment procedures lobbying against the decision. With less policing projects that affect our climate, oceans and forests will most certainly affect yours (it's not like the air, water or trees give a crap about borders).
4. Funding for environmental testing and safety are being cut or completely removed. Jobs in Oceans and Fisheries are being cut by the thousands (while our military budget for an imaginary war doesn't seem to have a lot of money woes...). 'Nuff Said. 
5. This bill would effectively muzzle government scientists and restrict their ability to communicate and speak out regarding their findings. This is so beyond shocking, that I can't even begin to articulate how disappointed and ashamed I am that my government is trying to restrict and control scientific exploration, discovery and debate. 

As you can see on BlackOutSpeakOut's web page, hundreds of environmental charities and organizations are joining together to fight this colossal step back in Canada's democratic and societal history. (SilenceOnParle pour le site français).

Today is Ocean's Day... and Canada has THREE Oceans (personally the Atlantic coast is my favourite- so powerful and majestic). 

Yes the government is frustrating, yes we feel helpless to create change, but THIS is a reason to be angry. Bill c-38 is a reason to get up in arms. Regardless of your political leanings. Regardless if you're a hardcore, tree hugging hippie or not. 

We can take courage and inspiration to become agents of change from the Casseroles in Québec (and now rippling across the country and internationally). As Québec citizens step outside to fight for their right to speak out and protest, so to should we not allow this blow to our political rights as Canadian citizens (read Mr Suzuki's comparison between the Québec protests and the implications on our country and government).

(these nightly 8pm protests have been happening for the past two weeks- and continue to do so)

Together, we can take our pots and pans, write letters (or send pre-written letters), sign petitions and gather our democratic right to protect our country, health and to be heard. 

Sign the BlackOutSpeakOut Petition (international readers are able as well)

Send a David Suzuki prepared letter in honour of Oceans Day to Stephen Harper

Send a letter to Finance Minister Jim Flaherty

Send a letter to your local MP

Or to... Stephen Harper himself: stephen.harper@parl.gc.ca 

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

Beltane: Letting Go of Worrying for the Planet

May 1st, Beltane.

I've come to realize that I'll look back on my initial working decade and know that this is a time of insecurity and uncertainty. When I first began blogging it felt like the Green revolution was on an upswing, jobs weren't that difficult to find and I could justify weekly yoga classes.

All that has changed and I finally understand the challenge of 'eco-fatigue'.

I would add 'yoga-fatigue' as well. Perhaps it's yoga-cynicism, or world cynicism.

It's just so easy to get caught up in being and focusing on the negative (especially when society is doused in a general feeling of malaise and anxiety).

In order to move forward, Beltane; a celebration of growth, life and Light, is the perfect time to let go of the Dark, to shed that dry husk and make like the trees- leafing forth!

What I'm letting go in Yoga:
- Coffee and Yoga. For a variety of truly disappointing and very negative (so I won't indulge them here) reasons, Coffee and Yoga was no longer making me happy. Every month I felt like a C&Y failure, it just wasn't living up to my expectations. So... I'm letting it go. This will leave a whole lot of emotional room for new practices that will make me happy.

What I'm letting go in 'Eco':
- As counterintuitive as this sounds, I'm letting go of worrying about our Planet. Don't get me wrong, I'm not letting go of 'caring' for our planet- there's a difference. This overall, pressing anxiety like the coming doom (which I actually do believe is unfortunately happening) isn't actually helping anything. Instead, it's creating an ever increasing sense of guilt (that I'm not doing enough), shame (over our terrible conservative government) and overwhelming sense of impending catastrophe- the kind where you should be stocking up and rocking hysterically in a corner (ok, maybe I'm exaggerating, but you green bloggers- you know what I mean!).

I need to let that go. I am doing fantastic Green work. I will continue to do fantastic Green work. Hopefully be spreading my experiences on this blog it will help others make some small and large changes. That will have to be enough for now.

As Beltane, like Samhain, is a night perfect for magical doings- let's see what the Tarot has to say about this:

Basically that although I originally was quite passionate about Coffee and Yoga, the fire has burnt away leaving a more cautious and reserved person (Empress reversed). The Page of Pentacles at the top implies that leaving C&Y will allow more room for new and exciting endeavours though- which is exactly as I'd like it. :)

Have you experienced eco or yoga fatigue? 

What can you let go in your eco-yoga life to keep the Fires for Life and creativity burning brightly?

Happy Beltane!

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

Ideas that don't involve light switches for Earth Day

I have never been one for "Earth Day" or "Earth Hour". Mostly because changes need to happen every day and turning off the lights for an hour really isn't doing all that much.

That said, I feel like events such as Earth Day can be used to help promote awareness and maybe do something a bit more politically active. That political part of being a Greenie is often the hardest, for a whole variety of reasons.

Yesterday, while driving the 5 hour drive from Sydney Cape Breton to Halifax, I was listening to an account of the recent student protests in Montreal. These students have the courage to stand up and say "NON" to officials and the status quo.

We can use tomorrow as an opportunity to do the same.

Some ideas for Earth Day that DON'T involve turning off your lights or recycling:

1. Start your weekend with Free Earth Day Karma Yoga in the Park.

Today at 11am, Halifax YITP will be practicing by the ocean to re-centre and reconnect with Nature. Be flexible- maybe today will be better weather than tomorrow.
If you don't own a studio- approach the owner about supporting an impromptu YITP in your city for Earth Day.
Or take a second to do a google search of your city to see if one is already being hosted!

2. Look to see if there are community-type events in your city/town/neighbourhood. It's a great way to connect with others who are also concerned about the Planet.

3. Use this community event to try Greenie Networking. Seriously, most of the time it's pretty awkward to bring up things like resource/tool sharing in random conversations ("so... do you have any tools you'd like to share? I've got a hammer..."). But on Earth Day, with a little finagling, it's totally appropriate. Try something like: "I always wish that our neighbourhood had something like a tool sharing library.... it would be so easy to set up." And wait and see what happens :)

4. Find a protest/march going on in your city and join! For all you Montrealer readers, there will be an Earth Day Rally going on concurrently with the student march. If I lived in Montreal, that's where I'd be (after some serious, grounding, yoga).

5. Haligonians: Go check out the Tree Planting happening tomorrow! HRM will be helping to plant 200 trees, and all are welcome! Check out the HRM Planting Awesome page, or Planting Awesome's website for details.

Use Earth Day for an extra bit of Eco Activism!

article and photograph copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

Taking Back My Dreaming

Squinting through my pinkie finger, the harsh lines of reality fell away and the blurry forms of light and colour filter through. Greens of every shade up above with browns of every hue below. It's the secret movement that only a few humans know to bring into focus all that is faery, magical and Bright. With this symbol I can read the faery writing (in harsh reality taking the form of ant trails eaten in the bark), find the hidden faery paths and dens and live more fully.


I'm lying in the crisp, crunchy snow. The cold slowly seeping through my mittens, tuque and snowsuit. Surrounding my snow cusped body are fir tree crystal walls with the dome of this hall reaching up and into the tree tops. Tiny drops of rainbow-filtered diamonds sparkle- the ceiling reflects a million colours with the hint of a blue sky peaking through. In my winter hall I can hear chickadees and blue jays singing to me amid a resounding snow filled silence.

These experiences might seem silly now, but they didn't feel as unrealistic when I was 6-8 years old. I dreamed and imagined my time away. Everything seemed possible.

If I had to guess when the dreaming stopped happening I would have to guess it began when I moved to a city for my undergraduate degree and was slowly chipped away until it was completely destroyed when I started my "big girl job" in Vernon 6 years ago.

I don't think I was aware of the loss. I don't remember thinking anything of it. One more part of the transition into the "real world" after school. No more dreaming.

Well I take it back. I like the dreaminess of the "other" reality. The creativity, the hopefulness, the movement forward never back.

(me testing out the lake waters three years ago...)

Therefore: here is my TAKE BACK THE DREAMS list (complete with unrealistic, unachievable, all out dreaming):

• I will write music and sing on stage- people will actually know the lyrics to my songs!
• I will live on the ocean in a tiny off the grid house. It'll have a garden, lots of bird feeders and I'll be able to practice yoga with the ocean waves crashing. The sound of the ocean will lull me to sleep every night. (So will Andrew :) ).
• Andrew and I will travel to countries and experience life elsewhere- to Ireland or New Zealand or a country in South America. 
• I will spend summers exploring and experiencing in the wood.
• I'll take my teacher training- and it will be extensive and years of study. 
• I'll write a book. I've always wanted to do that. 
• I will spend some time quietly observing and reading in a tree. 
• I'll always see the magical in the every day- colour sparking into Hope.

What are your dreams?

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

Yoga and Illness

We live in an overwhelming culture. Work can be intense, home life can be busy and we're continuously connected to other streams of "information" (ie social media). Combine that with an underlying sense of impending doom (whether economic or environmental) and it's funny we're ever surprised when confronted with our body in a state of panic.

Although this blog is meant to be a focus on sharing information, learning and growing in my eco-yoga practice, I feel like there's been a huge white elephant in the room.

For the past several months I've been struggling with some pretty intense health issues. These concerns have been there for a while (years actually), but have come to a head this year. The consequences of which I'm having to re-evaluate what I thought my life would involve, what my role as a person, wife, woman will mean. I've vacillated between sharing and not sharing. I don't want this to be a "woe is me" thing, I'm not dying. However, I've decided that by putting it out there I won't have to tiptoe around the fact that it's happening.

As I'm still going through the process of testing, seeing specialists, dealing with how I'm feeling and working out my day to day physical health; I'm choosing to keep the actual concerns private. I thought I could share how I'm coming to realize a few tidbits about yoga and even my obsession with keeping my body "clean" of toxins.

First up for this post, a few thoughts of yoga and illness.

Yoga and Dis-Ease:
I've been using Yoga as an escape. I have a very strong urge to attend as many yoga classes as possible. In a studio- gasp! You may remember that for the longest time I was very "no yoga in a studio" kinda gal. After some thought, I've realized that although I'm still practicing at home, yoga in a studio allows for more of a complete escape. I can forget about my life, my worries, my body even, for a blissful hour.

If that means I have to drive to Dartmouth's All Yoga studio- so be it.

I'm not too sure whether using something as a means to escape from an emotional issue is wise, at least yoga does help keep my body health and is way to practice dealing with stress.

After reading a very interesting article on yoga and stress written by a Neuroscientist (can't remember where I read it- sorry!), I've realized that the most prominent benefit from yoga was encouraging the person to practice breathing and staying calm during a stressful event- asana.

So, the other day when I thought I was going to have a panic attack while driving home (as I was ruminating on my health), I started treating that event as if it were a yoga practice. Breathing fully and deeply, letting go of my thoughts and focusing on being in the present. I thought about a few yoga classes I'd had recently, conjuring up the positive emotions surrounding those events and the type of breathing they foster. It helped (no panic attack-woo!).

There's been some recent discussion around the distrust with western medical health professionals. As a health professional myself, I get that it's often challenging to merge west-east and historically it's been a "western scoffs at eastern" type discourse. That said, I do believe that both have something to offer... and when it comes to my health I tend to stick with evidence based practice.

Although I know yoga instructors have some training regarding anatomy and physiology, I will be frank in that I know Physiotherapists have more. An intensive Clinical Master's level university degree, Physiotherapy is grounded in a well founded and established evidence based practice (re: research).

Instead of colouring the discussion with "why yoga has all the answers, and instead of listening to your PT you should try these yoga poses" we should be encouraging building trust and teamwork from both directions to benefit from what each area can offer to our health.

(Next up, Dis-Ease and the Environment).

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

A Niggling, Wiggling Unfurling to a New Path in 2012

2012 is the year of being 30. ACK. THIRTY. Trente. Shu dans mes trentaines. I don't feeeel thirty (perhaps it's the fact that I work with preschoolers?).

As I've written, New Year's resolutions are not for me. That said, I definitely have a little niggling, wiggling thing. A bud. A something in the center of my chest. Metaphorically, but it's weirdly manifesting as a physical sensation. This niggling thing feels like it's waiting for a momentous *thing* to happen this year. Some event that will allow it to flourish, open up and stretch out.

Weird, I know.

Therefore, although I'm not going to have "resolutions" per se, I think a few comments on a more Authentic Path (inspired from Simply Authentic hehe- thank you!) would be a lovely exercise.

Firstly, to move forward I need a quick peak back to 2011:

The new snow last January 2011

Word of the year: WORK, work and more work. 2011 was the year of my job. I traveled to Ottawa, Montreal (twice!) and all over the province for work. I gave presentations to countless groups of parents, early childhood educators, teachers, SLP colleagues, principals and began the huge Hanen program LLLI. All in French. I was interviewed three times by the radio, wrote a few articles that got published, implemented bilingual standards of care for the entire province, co-taught the SLP master's pediatric dysphagia class, helped plan a provincial Expo, took evening French language classes... sigh I was busy and am very proud of all that I accomplished that year.

Our trip to PEI six months ago

That said, I feel like everything else has taken a back seat. I didn't write as much music and my yoga practice in the studio disappeared into oblivion. My first year of marriage and really it's work that stands out.

My eco Halloween as the Paper Bag Princess costume

Also, my environmental journey hasn't really made any huge steps.
Some notable changes:
- We successfully made and preserved jam (yum!)
- I now wash my face with honey
- I started sewing more
- We rode our bicycles in the summer (but not nearly enough)
- We went to the farmer's market a lot more
- I started drinking loose tea
- I stopped dying my hair (no more highlights!)
- we tried rooftop gardening and failed miserably
- we started drinking whole milk from local cows
- we got a dishwasher

Wow... not that impressive huh?

Ok. So. I'm thinking, 2012- the year of 30. Needs to be a little more artsy, more guitar-ing, more singing, more writing, more yoga-ing, more ART-ing.

Some ideas to make this happen:
Writing-Guitar-ing-ART-ing: last year this "resolve" dissolved (haha). It's time to do what worked when I was in university; go to a coffee shop and write over yummy coffee. We live in the city and have fabulous coffee shops nearby. It's time to take an evening every week for a little coffee/writing jaunt.
Also, using the once a week that Andrew is in an evening class to practice and create songs instead of reading a book or watching tv would be a good goal.

Yoga: I'd like to actually make an effort to attend karma classes this year. I'm making plans with my friend yoga crew to crash some local studios en masse.

Work: No more taking extra, after work language courses, agreeing to co-teach the master's pediatric dysphagia course, checking emails from home...

Blog: Announcement!! I was so surprised and honoured to be invited to write for the FABULOUS Green Phone Booth!! As of this month, every two Fridays I'll be writing over at the Booth... yay Eco Superheroine!

Environment: on that line of thought, I'd really like to make ONE (only one) other large life change in decreasing my impact on the planet. This is going to take some thought, because if I go too big it just won't work. I'll keep y'all posted on this one :)

NEXT: Tomorrow evening I'll be taking key words from the above Paths and will be ART-ing all over a page. This page will be put up in the kitchen for daily viewing, reminding and smiling.

anyone else for the niggling, wiggling feelings?

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

The Winner of the YogAttitude Cards!

Since I am currently in my pyjamas, I figured it would be best to forego the videotaping of the choice- so pictures it was!

On a scrap piece of paper I wrote out all the names, cut them up and placed them in this beautiful burl that we received as a wedding gift (isn't it gorgeous?).

Swish, swish, swish annnnd......

Voilà!

Carla, you are the lucky winner of the beautiful YogAttitude Cards! I hope they serve you well as inspiration throughout your house while you complete your PhD!!

Thank you to everyone who participated, and please feel free to check out Nadine's space in case you'd like to order them (or send a special someone a link hint lol) for Yulemas!

article and photographs copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

YogAttitude Cards: Review and Giveaway!

A little while back I received an email from the lovely Nadine Fawell, asking me to review her new Yoga Cards- YogAttitude. As I adore receiving emails and I'm always pretty good at responding, I wrote back just to make sure she knew I wasn't a yoga teacher (and perhaps not as "qualified" as she might like).

Silly me, of course she knew that- she wanted the student perspective!

A few short weeks later I received MAIL (I LOVE mail!) with a little box of yoga treasures to check out. Unfortunately my life also kinda blew up in October and it took a little longer to review than I'd hoped.

I'll be honest, I've never really enjoyed the yoga cards that I've seen floating around. The large, new age-y cards with some meaningful "yogic" inscription that some yoga teachers like to read in class. I was a little nervous about how I would use these cards I'd agreed to review.

Then I opened the box and realized I had found the yoga cards for me!

First of all, this cute little box is fantastic. I am a huge fan of the peacock feather graphic and the actual name of the cards "YogAttitude". The cards are quite narrow, which I was initially concerned about how I would use them, but after a few trials I realized that the narrow, smaller cards are actually better for practice.

Whereas the larger, clunkier cards are unwieldy and not really meant beyond a one card deal, Nadine's smaller cut cards are PERFECT for creating a sequence of yoga asana  to keep near your mat as you practice. She's also divided the cards into asana pictures and words to inspire, which allows the yogi truly carve a unique practice to their needs. That and smaller cards means less waste!

The cards come with a well written, not too froufrou workbook... which is pdf!! YES! Extremely environmentally friendly, if I choose to I can print it on recycled paper.

The size of the box and cards along with the pdf file workbook means that these are a wonderful accompaniment to my current traveling reality- I can easily bring yoga inspiration with me all over the province!

Beyond the practicalities of the cards are the actual images. If the usefulness didn't get me, I was instantly a fan when I saw how real Nadine's yoga asana images were. No uber skinny, American Apparel Yogini- but a gorgeous, strong, tattooed (LOVE her peacock tats!) Yogini to be inspired by.

So. How did I use the cards, really? I tried to go through and use them as a sequencer, but that really just didn't fit well with my style of practice. I tried choosing a few inspiration or "goal" asanas and that went marginally better.

The best success, for myself? I use them in a familiar way- almost like Tarot cards.

Yoga Asana Trio Prep w YogAttitude:
Taking the cards I close my eyes and begin to ground my Energy using my breath. I feel the cards and breathe into what is unconsciously influencing my life and choose a card. I breathe into what has been the root, the anchor in my world- and choose a card. Finally, I breathe into what I would like my life, my practice, to reflect- and choose a card.

The result- a trio of asanas meant to support, sustain or strengthen each aspect: the Unconscious, the Anchor and the Wish.

I have truly enjoyed these cards and am very thankful for Nadine in sharing them with me.

In the spirit of Giving, Nadine has sent me not one, but TWO decks (Yay! Thank you Nadine!)... and I would like to share a deck with YOU! Perhaps you'd like it for yourself, or for a special yogi(ni) in your life (a fantastic Yulemas gift!).

GIVEAWAY RULES:

All you have to do is leave a comment saying how you'd use the cards (or how you imagine your giftee would benefit from them) by Saturday, December 4th, 4pm Atlantic Time. An email address, or a way to get in touch would be necessary :)

Good luck!

article and photographs copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com

Eco-Favs and Eco-Failures

This is my 430th post- it's a little overwhelming to think I wrote over 400 posts on the environment and yoga!

Although I've done this before, I thought I'd put together my Eco favourites and a 'fess up to the Eco-Failures.

Eco-Favourites:
1. The DivaCup: My absolute, most favouritest environmental AND yoga invention ever. I have saved close to 300$, hundreds of tampons from the landfill and TIME with this beauty. Also, practicing yoga has become that much more easier (along with travel, work and ease in every day living!).

2. My prAna revolution eco-mat. I adore my mat, despite the fact that it weighs a ton, is a bit embarrassing to roll out in class (cuz me and the mat are disproportionate) and no longer fits in my yogoco mat bag. Yep, it's been over a year and it's still like new, sticky and beautiful and environmentally friendly. LOVE.

3. No more Paper Towel. This was a tough transition but I would never ever go back. Trying to scrub a sink, tub, toilet or counter with paper towel seems ridiculous now- it's not nearly as clean or effective as a cloth rag. We never buy paper towel, and we don't ever miss it.

4. My Lioli produce bags are my favourite part of shopping. I no longer ever use plastic bags for produce, grains, seeds or rice. These easy to wash, easy to store and fabulous to use little mesh and solid bags not only keep my produce longer (cloth allows breathing while plastic sweats and increases decomp), they also decrease our plastic consumption significantly. It's come to the point that if I forget them, I can't bare to use plastic, so I just wash the produce really well when I get home.

5. Vinegar as a cleaning tool. Weirdly I haven't written about this (that I can find). Guess I didn't think it was EXCITING. I should write about why I heart vinegar now, and how I'd never go back to chemical cleaning. (mental note- made).

6. Going off the birth control pill. Best decision I ever made.

A couple of Eco-Failures since this journey began:

1. Salt deodorant: I am STILL paying for this epic failure. I really really wanted this to work, but unfortunately underarm reactions have had some pretty annoying results that continue to be a challenge.

2. DIY Yogurt: oh yeah, we did this three times and every time I vomited in a little bit in my mouth during the entire process. The texture was just so GROSS. I couldn't handle it. So for a while I just stopped buying yogurt. Then I tried some locally made stuff, but that texture was also really weird and gross. So... I'm currently on a no-yogurt eating kick. Sad really.

3. Soap end bits body wash: ummm- sadly about a week after making this the soap solidified. Awkward.

4. Urban Gardening: Sadly all our attempts have failed, including this year's little rooftop garden. It was impossible to get up there and garden, water and watch over our plants- mostly because we had a short window each day and we'd be walking right next to our neighbour's windows (on the fire escapes). We haven't been up there in weeks and I have no idea what that little box looks like right now.

5. TPE Yoga mats. Not eco-friendly. Need convincing? Post 1, post 2.

Well there you have it!

Upcoming posts this week: soap, vinegar, menstruation and yoga.

Blessings!

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com