Taking Back My Dreaming

Squinting through my pinkie finger, the harsh lines of reality fell away and the blurry forms of light and colour filter through. Greens of every shade up above with browns of every hue below. It's the secret movement that only a few humans know to bring into focus all that is faery, magical and Bright. With this symbol I can read the faery writing (in harsh reality taking the form of ant trails eaten in the bark), find the hidden faery paths and dens and live more fully.


I'm lying in the crisp, crunchy snow. The cold slowly seeping through my mittens, tuque and snowsuit. Surrounding my snow cusped body are fir tree crystal walls with the dome of this hall reaching up and into the tree tops. Tiny drops of rainbow-filtered diamonds sparkle- the ceiling reflects a million colours with the hint of a blue sky peaking through. In my winter hall I can hear chickadees and blue jays singing to me amid a resounding snow filled silence.

These experiences might seem silly now, but they didn't feel as unrealistic when I was 6-8 years old. I dreamed and imagined my time away. Everything seemed possible.

If I had to guess when the dreaming stopped happening I would have to guess it began when I moved to a city for my undergraduate degree and was slowly chipped away until it was completely destroyed when I started my "big girl job" in Vernon 6 years ago.

I don't think I was aware of the loss. I don't remember thinking anything of it. One more part of the transition into the "real world" after school. No more dreaming.

Well I take it back. I like the dreaminess of the "other" reality. The creativity, the hopefulness, the movement forward never back.

(me testing out the lake waters three years ago...)

Therefore: here is my TAKE BACK THE DREAMS list (complete with unrealistic, unachievable, all out dreaming):

• I will write music and sing on stage- people will actually know the lyrics to my songs!
• I will live on the ocean in a tiny off the grid house. It'll have a garden, lots of bird feeders and I'll be able to practice yoga with the ocean waves crashing. The sound of the ocean will lull me to sleep every night. (So will Andrew :) ).
• Andrew and I will travel to countries and experience life elsewhere- to Ireland or New Zealand or a country in South America. 
• I will spend summers exploring and experiencing in the wood.
• I'll take my teacher training- and it will be extensive and years of study. 
• I'll write a book. I've always wanted to do that. 
• I will spend some time quietly observing and reading in a tree. 
• I'll always see the magical in the every day- colour sparking into Hope.

What are your dreams?

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com