Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Taking Back My Dreaming

Squinting through my pinkie finger, the harsh lines of reality fell away and the blurry forms of light and colour filter through. Greens of every shade up above with browns of every hue below. It's the secret movement that only a few humans know to bring into focus all that is faery, magical and Bright. With this symbol I can read the faery writing (in harsh reality taking the form of ant trails eaten in the bark), find the hidden faery paths and dens and live more fully.

I'm lying in the crisp, crunchy snow. The cold slowly seeping through my mittens, tuque and snowsuit. Surrounding my snow cusped body are fir tree crystal walls with the dome of this hall reaching up and into the tree tops. Tiny drops of rainbow-filtered diamonds sparkle- the ceiling reflects a million colours with the hint of a blue sky peaking through. In my winter hall I can hear chickadees and blue jays singing to me amid a resounding snow filled silence.

These experiences might seem silly now, but they didn't feel as unrealistic when I was 6-8 years old. I dreamed and imagined my time away. Everything seemed possible.

If I had to guess when the dreaming stopped happening I would have to guess it began when I moved to a city for my undergraduate degree and was slowly chipped away until it was completely destroyed when I started my "big girl job" in Vernon 6 years ago.

I don't think I was aware of the loss. I don't remember thinking anything of it. One more part of the transition into the "real world" after school. No more dreaming.

Well I take it back. I like the dreaminess of the "other" reality. The creativity, the hopefulness, the movement forward never back.

(me testing out the lake waters three years ago...)

Therefore: here is my TAKE BACK THE DREAMS list (complete with unrealistic, unachievable, all out dreaming):

  • I will write music and sing on stage- people will actually know the lyrics to my songs!
  • I will live on the ocean in a tiny off the grid house. It'll have a garden, lots of bird feeders and I'll be able to practice yoga with the ocean waves crashing. The sound of the ocean will lull me to sleep every night. (So will Andrew :) ).
  • Andrew and I will travel to countries and experience life elsewhere- to Ireland or New Zealand or a country in South America. 
  • I will spend summers exploring and experiencing in the wood.
  • I'll take my teacher training- and it will be extensive and years of study. 
  • I'll write a book. I've always wanted to do that. 
  • I will spend some time quietly observing and reading in a tree. 
  • I'll always see the magical in the every day- colour sparking into Hope.

What are your dreams?

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com


  1. I support the crap out of this post! This is awesome!!

  2. I love your dreams! Here are mine, complete with the ones I feel are unachievable right now.

    -Take a foreign language class besides Spanish.

    -Translate a book into Spanish or from Spanish into English.

    -Read books, lots of them, in cafes and awesome looking libraries all around the country.

    -visit Europe.

    -Visit and move to Portland, Oregon.

    -Have a musician boyfriend

    -Sell my art at an indie craft show.

    -Take another dance class. Modern & ballet.

  3. What a beautiful post, very inspiring.
    Hope you make it to NZ, you will love it here. There are many houses by the ocean :)

  4. I love this---I love goals and dreams and hopes and wishes. I have my lifetime goals listed on my blog non-stop to remind me of where I want to go/who I want to be. :)

  5. @Andrew: aww thanks sweetie! :)

    @Amy: Thank you! I especially love the read books, lots of them, in cafes and awesome looking libraries all around the country- that would be FUN!

    @Sarah: thank you! I hear NZ is so beautiful and I've wanted to go, ever since I was in grade 5 lol! I even researched NZ in my parents encyclopedia (no internet then!). haha.

    @Simply Authentic: you know, having them out there constantly is a good idea- reground and reconnect.

  6. I've been wondering when you were gonna put some more music on this here blog...the last time, unless I missed something was a lovely little video a few years ago...

  7. I support the crap out of this post, too! LOL!

    My impossible dreams:

    ::To travel all over Europe

    ::To become a novelist, like I always wanted to be

    ::To have an off-the-grid house, too!

    ::To have a fleet of bicycles

    ::To have a 5-acre garden

    ::To have a herd of goats and alpacas so I can harvest my own fiber for spinning


  8. Woo hoo! Loved reading this post. I totally went through the same process during/post grad school. Ironically wedding planning (crafting) brought back creativity into my life and I'm so thankful for all the amazing things that have come back into my life since I've re-embraced creativity and dreaming.

    Good luck with all your grand adventures!

  9. Dreams are just choices we havent made yet -all:) achievable, it's about priorities we have and what we're willing to do...ya know?

    Amy - don't date a musician don't do it! (Im a portland girl, trust me haha)

    My dreams?
    * get paid to write at least part time
    * teach a class
    * visit a new country every other year
    * own a horse
    * take a sculpting class
    * have a beautiful nude portrait taken
    * stand under a waterfall
    * see madonna live!


  10. i love this! i recently started a "life list" document to be a running list of my dreams and things i'd like to accomplish.


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