What I Learned from My Failed Attempt to Cut Out Cheese

So. Today is technically "Day 4 of NO CHEESE WEEK".

I will admit that I have already failed on day 3.

My Naturopath, bless her, suggested quite firmly on Thursday, that I should "just cut out dairy (ie cheese) for a week and see how it goes". Implication: If I just see how miraculous my life would be without dairy (ie my IBS and bloating, sorry if this is TMI), I would accept that life sans fromage is an acceptable sacrifice.

She was sadly mistaken.

However, I will admit that I did learn a few things over these past four days during the terrible week of doom that I thought was worth the experience at least.

Firstly, I want to be clear that for all of my fellow IBS-ers who have found that cutting out dairy from their diet has been extremely helpful in their IBS treatment- I am so happy for you. That is great. Dairy is a typical trigger for many people for all sorts of digestive issues and often it is the best decision to cut it out. Excellent.

For myself, my IBS, as I've said often, is linked to two things: emotional stress and raw fruits and vegetables (ok, 3 things). Mostly on the emotional stress part. This means: I could be eating the BEST that I could possibly eat, only white pasta with no dairy or leaves and stuff, and if I'm stressed or upset it doesn't matter. OR I could eat ice cream no problem if I'm having a really great stress week. My IBS really is tied to my STRESS, not diet.

No really, I have spent 13 years specifically figuring this out, and my entire life since I was 5 years old living it. I tried to explain this to the Naturopath... but she really just wasn't having it. Dairy is evil.

I also have a very restricted diet to begin with, mostly due to my IBS (over the years I have been conditioned to accumulate aversions to foods), and a brother who REALLY loves condiments. This means that my meal options have slowly evolved to always always involve cheese. But ONLY cheddar cheese (white extra old cheddar to be precise). I don't like many other cheeses.

And here is the crux of the matter: most of my meals involve cheddar cheese, I LOVE how it tastes and I do not like the alternatives. Like, they would make me gag.

So, not surprising that come day 3 Andrew and I had completely run out of "no cheese meals" options. And so, not only did I fall off the "no cheese bandwagon" I fell right into a cheese and bacon nachos bandwagon. They were DELICIOUS.

Ok, but back to what I have learned.

1. I will not be cutting out cheese or dairy from my life. That is ok. My good feelings around eating and meal time require I keep cheese and not feel guilty around eating a certain food group.
2. Restricting and "cutting out" an entire food group resulted in my obsessing about this group. I thought about cheese ALL THE TIME. How good it tastes and stressing about how I was going to figure out a meal without cheese... It was so unhealthy and not fun. I've decided that I really just want a more healthy relationship with what I eat and this extra restriction just wasn't helping.
3. I can eat a sandwich without cheese, and replacing it with thinly cut apple and extra pesto is not disgusting. Now, it's not cheese, but I didn't barf. Bonus. This I will take forward- Yes!
4. I will be cutting thinner slices of cheese and adding less to our meals. And I will be ok.
5. I am lucky that cheese doesn't cause me pain...

(Oh, and today I didn't have ANY dairy... and it was just circumstance... and the fact that the nachos used up ALL the cheddar we had in the apartment lol).

GPB: Ethics of Sponsorship in Blogging

Getting free stuff from companies just for blogging? Sounds fabulous eh?

Today at the Green Phone Booth I chat and share on some ethical concerns around accepting product sponsorship as a blogger and ask how best it would be to disclose to your readers. Please feel free to go on over and join the (honest and respectful!) discussion!

Psst: Strong is the New Skinny, Pass it On!

"This Trendy "Strong is the New Skinny" Thing (and what it could mean for the next generation of girls"

I just read the most badass article above and I have to share it with you. No really. It was ridonkulously amazing. If you are a woman, if you are a HUMAN, you should read this.

I feel that Sophie's message, besides being so entertainingly, yet poignantly written, is an important one to share. Important for the girl I was and the woman I am. For all my other girl-woman peeps who struggle with body image, disordered eating and self-esteem. So I'm sharing my perspective, my take, with you.

What if: "Strong is the new skinny"

Yes. Exactly. What if, when I was a girl, I was told to strive to be strong instead of thin. What if the message society gave me was that a strong woman was of ultimate value. Would my adolescence, my early twenties, have been different?

If you read my blog, you know that I've struggled with disordered body image and eating my entire life. Oh, it's not clinical- I've never demonstrated symptoms to the clinical level. But raise your hand (mentally) if you've: a) known someone who lost their period due to weight loss b) looked in the mirror and wailed internally over your fat-ugly______ c) felt proud that you skipped a meal d) felt happy that your jeans were loose e) gone on a fad diet, or any diet f) felt that your current weight or body shape, whatever it was, just needed a bit of improvement g) heard someone say that the best part of having the stomach flu was the weight that you lost....

Yup, yup, yep, been there for all of them.

After devouring countless books and research articles on feminism, body image, female health and our relationship historically and culturally with the media, I am a strong believer that this "body type ideal" of tall, thin and waif-like is enforced upon us artificially by the beauty, fashion and advertising industry along with a healthy dose of patriarchy valuing women for extrinsic qualities such as ideal beauty and as sexual objects.

In a way, this can be viewed as a positive thing. Unlike evolutionary psychological theory (which honestly I feel is a load of self serving, patriarchal, narrow-minded crap- we are not apes and behaviours that *may* have occurred a millennia ago can be explained by the-very different- social construct, brain and cognitive development and lifestyles homo sapiens led: ie social and culture and NOT irreversible genetics) our social mores and culture can CHANGE.

What if girls are told from a young age to be strong, intelligent, caring, courageous instead of thin, pretty, "nice" and gentle? My thinnest moments were when I was stressed and unhappy and I know for a fact I was not eating enough to nourish my brain- which obviously results in poor cognitive functioning, problem solving, emotional regulation and concentration.

You know what was my fucking unicorn moment? When my unflexibility forced me to improve significantly in my strength endurance in yoga. When I looked in the mirror and saw the gorgeous MUSCLES in my back and arms. When I could hold dolphin plank longer than my weight lifting husband. It was like suddenly the fear of 'bulking up' (which is a ridiculous myth btw) disappeared into the excitement of being fucking STRONG. 

Just last night I poked my belly to feel my awesome abdominal muscles I've been building. I may have even showed them off to Andrew. I am so excited with my body right now, and I am currently at my "heaviest" and highest dress size.

This is to say that I feel it's a bit DESPITE yoga. I know. But I feel the focus on yoga asana (for the most part) in popular western yoga is to be thin, lose weight, "toned". Even the examples of strong yoginis we have as famous role models are still (white) thin and strong. (Now, we know there are some strong fabulous yoginis who are bucking the system- I heart you! We need MORE of you!).

This is where Sadie's snarky post at Huffpo makes me cringe. Perhaps instead of making others feel like yoga is the ONLY solution to being strong and healthy, we should simply encourage women to be STRONG however best that works for them. Our bodies and selves do not fit in a cookie cutter mold, one size fits all model. So why assume yoga to be the panacea in this diverse reality?

Strong is the new Skinny- Pass it On.

GPB: Navigating the Eco-Beauty Products World

Ever find yourself trying to green your beauty product (baby product) routine and want to scream at the overwhelming amounts of information and choice?

Me too... at the Green Phone Booth today I share a few of the tips that have worked for me over the years- Navigating the Eco-Beauty Products World: go check it out! :)

Does my Dove Response solidify the Ego (ie the "antithesis of yoga"?)

"...isn't your article solidifying the ego which is the antithesis of yoga?"- Daniel

This comment was posted on my "Response to Dove- 10 things you need to tell yourself" post last week.

I think this is an important question and I thank you Daniel for voicing it (in a very nice way :) ). The interesting thing about yoga is that although most yogis firmly state that yoga isn't a "religion" nor "spiritual" (which would allow for guiding mores, written "archaic" and authentic guidelines to live by and an ultimate end goal- ie enlightenment), many yogis bemoan the superficial (ie physical only) aspect of practitioners and Western Yoga.

I find many aspects of yogic teachings useful tools for my daily life. However, it is not my spirituality- I am pagan and some of my spiritual beliefs don't quite mesh with yoga. I'm ok with that.

So, to Daniel's comment.

As I haven't studied yogic teachings in depth, I'm certainly not qualified to give an overly educated answer. What I can do is give my own perspective, educational background in psychology on the question of "ego", attachment, mental health and yoga.

I find the use of the term "ego" to be troublesome for many reasons, one being the direct historical connotations of the Freudian origins of the term. In psychology, although Freud was a revolutionary, his therapy techniques and theories are no longer viewed as accurate nor are they recommended for use (outside of Europe and some practitioners in Quebec). Vilifying the "ego" (or the "id") isn't helpful, instead it's an extremely simplistic way of viewing the human sense of self.

The reality is that as social persons we function within relationships with others. These relationships with other people are forged and strengthened through emotional attachment and interactions. Our own sense of the Self and self-worth is created through thousands of interactions, emotional bonds with firstly our families and then others as well as situations throughout our lives. This sense of self, in it's healthy form, is an important prerequisite in order to form healthy and appropriate emotional attachments and relationships with others.

Although our society has definitely moved to a more narcissistic part of the Self spectrum (all about ME), I do feel that the other extreme is equally unhealthy from a mental health, relationship perspective. I plan on living life at 100%, and I am a firm believer that the people, friends and loved ones in my family are an essential component in this path.

With regards to the "ego" of telling yourself 10 things you love about your intrinsic (non physical self), I feel that in the context this exercise is necessary for the majority of women in western society. Our society sends extremely strong messages about a woman's worth based on her physical appearance. As a result, often women (and young girls) base, at least a portion, of their self worth on their physical appearance.

Disordered sense of self, body-image and eating (more prevalent in women in western society) can lead to dieting (which leads to health problems), depression, and eating disorders. Here is where I feel using a simplistic rhetoric of "ego=bad" for a reality where simply "letting go" isn't working for the thousands of women who struggle daily under a barrage of unhealthy messages and sense of self-worth tied directly to a forever aging body. Especially in a physical discipline like yoga, where the billion dollar ad industry is specifically marketed to lithe, young, (white) women and many traditions focus on the physical body in order to achieve mental clarity.

(a perfect example of yoga ad industry...)

If you are a person who has a fantastic sense of self-worth and feel confident where you are intrinsically (and, as unjust as it is, this is more likely true if you are male) then I see the "non-attachment" of yogic teachings being useful. If you find these yogic teachings as being helpful to you, and have fully adopted to follow a yogic lifestyle, I respect and support that 100%.

I do believe that the majority of women (and some men) could certainly benefit from actively finding a sense of self-worth from internal characteristics starting with explicitly stating what they like best about themselves that isn't tied to their physical body. If this isn't "yoga"- I'm 100% ok with that :)