The Yulemas season is fast approaching (No huge 'Black Friday' in Canada means no official holiday season starting point) and I've been feeling increasingly stressed about the shopping and consumption.
I thought it was linked to the whole 'sustainability, buying more stuff is bad for the environment' mantra that I've been trying to REDUCE over the past years.... but what I've realized is that it's more like a sort of generalized anxiety or malaise.
After some thought, I've realized that the constant barrage of global economic instability, government debt, cuts, job losses and job insecurity in the media has been internalized in my general emotional system. Even though my job is permanent full time (and I'm unionized), I'm surrounded by uncertainty and job anxiety at my work. From the 'Occupy' movement, to the recent plunge in lobster prices which will force my family and friends of fishermen to basically live on unbelievably low wages, we're constantly under the impression on eminent social collapse.
Despite my permanent nature of my job I'm acting as if I could be unemployed (while still having to pay off a ton of debt) at any moment. I'm worried about investing in a long lasting, uber environmentally friendly winter coat- even though I walk to and from work in blizzard conditions daily and my current peacoat isn't warm enough, nor water-snow resistent. Even though I could budget for this coat.
I don't attend yoga classes (I saw a 'holiday deal' for unlimited studio access for one year at 899$....wow! can you imagine spending that much on a GIFT for someone??), I didn't even go see Michael Stone's talk about Occupy movement because it would have cost Andrew and I over 30$ (which seems counterintuitive to charge money for an 'Occupy' talk).
My yoga practice has been a temporary respite and I've upped my practice goal to 4x a week (for other health reasons as well), but it's this unconscious almost underlying theme to all my thoughts, all my conversations.
Does anyone else feel this irrational emotional anxiety about their finances?
article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com