I remember saying/thinking that in high school. I couldn't imagine what life would be like if I didn't play/sing every single day. I found time after school every day... other people (I would add [older] in there) just weren't committed or passionate enough.
I kept it up pretty well during university, even played a few open mics. Montreal was essential for music playing in my room or at the park. I wrote lyrics every where I went, on pads of paper, in my note book. Scribbles and thoughts jotted down. Some of them made it to songs, most didn't.
Something happened when I started my "big girl" job. I stopped playing/writing/singing. Oh I had a good summer one year in Vernon, even played at a coffee shop a few times. But I could sense a change.
These past two years in Halifax have been the worse yet. I go weeks without playing, I haven't written hardly any lyrics and not one noteworthy song. I'm tired at the end of the day, I feel drained of creativity. I either have time for yoga, or time for music.
Not fair- one shouldn't have to exclude the other.
Today as I was walking to work after a very interesting workshop on Cleft Palate SLP assessment, I had an urge. To create. To sit outside near the ocean, feeling the wind whip through my hair and over my face and to just WRITE. It was almost physical. Even now, home from a particularly emotional afternoon at work, I look out my window and I *wish*.
I think part of the decrease has been energy, but another huge part has been Andrew. I love him, with all my heart, which is the problem- I'm happy. I am much more creative when I'm full of angst (which I wouldn't want to actually be again, so no regrets!). From a practical perspective, I play and create more often when I am alone. Rarely am I alone now while at home. I love spending time with Andrew, but perhaps I should carve out more "alone" time specifically.
Tonight is friend yoga night- and we were going to watch the political debate afterward (Elizabeth May should have been included!!). After that I will write.
I'm ready. It's time for some renewal, it is spring after all.
As of tonight I will strive to:
- play my guitar and sing at least once a week.
- purchase a cute (eco) booklet to encourage lyric writing, and keep it with me wherever I go.
- play and sing outside at the park at least once this summer.
- move beyond this recent yoga-cynicism that has enveloped my practice.
What about you? Has your creativity/passion changed recently?
article and photograph copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com