Thursday, May 13, 2010

Lesson Learned- Do Yoga when Angry

Today I found myself driving to Sunrise Yoga Studio (or at least TRYING to) cursing and swallowing back tears. I had taken a bath, shaved my legs, chosen the perfect "yoga" outfit (i.e. most comfy and least flashy), read the etiquette and description... I was GOING to a Mysore class! Even though I was nervous as I dunno what. I was going (insert expletive).

Got across the bridge (which always intimidates the poo out of me, what I despised about Vancouver city was that any second you could be on a bridge- which resulted in a lot of me shouting "Holy CRAP we're on a BRIDGE!!!!" and Andrew saying- "Yes... nice job Captain Obvious." sigh). Ok, tangent aside, after all the talk about how MacDonald Bridge is better than the MacKay... guess it really DOES matter which bridge you take to Dartmouth.

Because all of a sudden I realized the exit I knew was via the "other" bridge. Insert f-word.

Turned around and found myself in Burnside industrial park (the only reason I knew this was because there were signs. Not street signs cuz Halifax-Dartmouth suck at signage, but "Welcome to!" signs. At this point I had no idea how to get out of the park and tried to veer towards perhaps making it back to the entrance of the "other" bridge. 

Instead I ended up right back to Woodland Avenue... a perfect circle of first wrong bridge entry. It was 7:50pm. Class started at 8pm. Any other time I may have just chalked it up to my silly "need a GPS taped to my forehead" disorder, but I had emailed Jack like THREE times saying I was going to his class. Stated it on facebook AND this blog (oh and twitter- but that's like a poof in the air really)... AND I had shaved my legs darnit!!

I marched back into our apartment and made a scary angry face for a while. I still had to practice Yoga and I *really* *really* didn't want to. I wanted to drink some beer and curl up.

Instead, I rolled out my mat and chose an Anusara class on Yogaglo. Even though I poked fun at the whole "move your organs back" (silly- organs can't really move, our muscles AROUND them move by conscious volition!), by the end of the class I was happy again.

I smiled at a crow who came crashing into a leafy section of the tree right outside our window. I marveled at how our apartment really looks like it's a treehouse apartment with all the leafy greens, like a little box suspended in a tree. I'm going to miss this tiny box. I sighed and let it go.

Although a lot of external reasons for my frustration remain (job, yoga community stuff, wedding stuff, blog stuff- not you guys though!) I'm no longer rip roaring ANGRY.

I let go my expectations to:
- be this great leader of Yoga in the Park.
- Ride my bike every single opportunity
- find ridiculously awesome eco-makeup and not spend a fortune
- solve this issues of the Halifax Yoga Community
- fix my parents' health. alright: be RESPONSIBLE for my parents' health

Lesson: every time I'm really angry-upset-p-od, DO YOGA.

article copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com 

17 comments:

  1. Oh dear, that sounds like a bit of a rough morning. I hate getting lost, and I have to say not driving does wonders for my road rage ;)

    Anger is nothing to be afraid of, and how you dealt with it (yoga) sounds absolutely perfect. Although from experience, I know it's still possible to do a yoga class and STILL feel angry once it's over!

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  2. Why is it that it's so hard to remember this in the heat of the moment? Most of the time, I end up retreating to bed with a book or DVD! That doesn't work as well, unfortunately.

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  3. Yoga when angry? Don't you know yogis aren't supposed to be angry?!

    As you know, I'm an advocate of being tirelessly positive and repressing all negative emotions. Thus, you shouldn't do yoga when angry, you should just pretend not to be angry, allowing the anger you've repressed to come out in really obnoxious passive aggressive ways under the pretext of "putting out positive energy." For instance, when you see somebody else who's angry or upset, smile at them and say "too bad you're so caught up in negative energy instead of being a glowing ball of light like I am" and then get even more self-righteously positive when they fail to find your lack of empathy healing.

    And don't get me started on shaving your legs. Don't you know that any eco-conscious person should revel in sweat, raw fecal matter, and hair coming out everywhere?

    Most importantly: never, ever, indulge in sarcasm....

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  4. i strongly encourage you to find a way to let go of the parental health thing...the sooner you do the easier your whole life will be. my father was a massive hypochondriac and every health issue, real or imagined, was shared with me since childhood. and the older he got the worse it got. it wore me down. when he died at a young 62, morbidly obese, all i could think was, why didn't i find a way to help him, to convince him. someday i'll figure out how to let that go, and i wish i could have while he was still living.

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  5. Yoga solves everything. For realz ;) :p

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  6. I was totally THERE last Thursday. Traffic was so awful that Red and I made it to the gym 15 minutes after yoga class had started, and by that time we were too pissed to care, so we turned around, got takeout, and went home to be grumpy. :( Our teacher is very much, "Come in WHENEVER you get here! It's okay if you're late!" and our class has a very welcoming, high-energy vibe, but I hate showing up late. Grrrrr. I should have done yoga when we got home, but we ate Mexican food and watched Mad Men instead....

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  7. Ughhhh that is one of the hardest things for me - remaining calm when plans go awry. I get too attached to my plans! I feel your pain!

    Yay for angry yoga : )

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  8. yes, yes and yes!! it can be difficult to remember, but I am working on that... yoga is great for anger. or frustrations. or freaked-outedness. and everything else our emotions conjure up :)

    ~ sending stress-less vibes your way ~

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  9. Don't get me wrong, usually my first reaction is to NOT do yoga (and usually that wins out).

    The "good" thing is that I HAD to do yoga last night- since it was for the challenge. I really couldn't let myself or everyone down. I was practicing every day for the blind gosh darnit- i was going to PRACTICE.

    Which forced me to practice when I really wouldn't have. and well- what do you know- it worked!

    Sigh, I'm hoping this memory will motivate me to turn to yoga despite my anger, stress, freaked out ness more often in the future. :)

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  10. OH!!!! Lis

    You are not RESPONSIBLE for you parents health. Parents are in good health!!

    You are your mother daughter.LOL
    You are too hard on yourself. Always been, piano recital,dance, SARMU, dean's list for 4 years, honor student,job,.. on and on. always thinking about others.

    Take time for Lisa. You are wonderful,and beautiful. YAY
    !!!Friday. Have a good weekend :)
    It's time to think about Lisa
    LOVE you LISA.

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  11. (teehee, if everyone hasn't already figured it out- Anonymous is my Mother.... lol.)

    I LOVE you too mom and Dad!!!!

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  12. I agree 100% about the lack of signage in Halifax/Dartmouth. It is outrageous. I have no sense of direction AT ALL. I can't follow a map and I don't trust those GPSs. So when in the city, I follow landmarks i.e. big stone church on the corner, divided street, health centre on the other corner, etc.... so you can imagine how much I panic when faced with an unexpected "detour". I hate being late, I am never late to anything. I leave early just in case I face the unexpected. That's just the way I roll.

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  13. Oooh, that irrational anger. I get that. A lot. My crazy Irish temper I guess. But, yoga definitely mellows it.

    Put a little less pressure on yourself. You are doing amazing things and inspiring beyond your own yoga community.

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  14. Thanks, that is a good reminder. Just practice, even when the world isn't doing what we want. We really need it: I really do!

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  15. Agreed. I go to a yoga class twice a month, in a mad rush after trying to get my kids in bed. And then ahhh, the relaxtion and all those good vibes hit and I feel great!

    Yep, I was born in Halfax, raised in Liverpool, college in US, married with three kids living in North Carolina. The heat is splendid. It's been 17 years since I lived in NS and I think I might be almost thawed out :-)

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  16. Tell me about it! Once my work screed me over pretty badly, and I was SO angry... I thought, I NEED yoga! The only option was one of those body Flow classes but wouldn't you know it, it did the trick. I read a great comment, maybe in YJ a few months ago about an instructor who sometimes would feel reluctant to go teach, but always walk out in a better frame of mind. Looks like it works for everyone involved!

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  17. Sounds like one of those days when you just want to bang your head against the wall. I'm glad you were able to get some practice in though. I know that when I come home and go for a run or workout right after work it's such a positive thing for my mental state overall. Don't worry....you'll catch the next class! :)

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