Of course, as you can imaging we're going to try to have as eco-friendly of a wedding as we possibly can without weirding out both our families. Which is no easy feat I soon discovered. Six months into planning and I've already had a couple little stomp my feet, "But it's OUR wedding" moments... and have now moved into compromise mode. I assumed that my parents know me well enough that a non-traditional wedding would come as no surprise... It took them a few months, and still my mom says things like: "Well of COURSE the bridesmaid needs flowers, what ELSE is she going to carry?" (my beautiful blue opal-a little big! We had to ship it to the designer in Seattle to size... I guess opals are delicate!)
After spending an entire weekend immersed in a very traditional, hugely bride-groomzilla wedding (Andrew was a groomsmen) we both came away with a renewed sense of how we don't want our wedding to have a part in the amount of WASTE that is produced. Seeing how stressed they both were over the most miniscule details (for example, matching cufflinks...) I realized how important it is to stay grounded and recognize that the real reason for the entire affair was a big, giant PARTY. With family... lol.
I have been considering practicing yoga the morning of the wedding and am 100% resolved to make this an essential part of the weekend after seeing the crazy spiraling stress from our friends' experience. My goal; to be allowed to practice at our venue (a local vineyard) with Andrew and whomever would like to join the morning of. To allow the peacefulness of Nature and her ability to ground and provide a pause to reflect during a time when I know everything will feel surreal. (bird tracks I saw... probably a seagull, but at least their "pistes" are cute!)
Some essentials that we are planning to help keep our wedding eco-friendly and low budget:
-SMALL wedding (50 peeps, tops!) This required a lot of foot stomping, as my side has a largish family. I had to recognize that although I might not have to deal with uninvited aunts/uncles (living three hours away) my family definitely will. It would be selfish of me to cause relationship rifts between their siblings... So, unfortunately there will be an A-list and B-list, quietly and smoothly orchestrated in order to assure both close friends and all family members are invited and meet our 50 person criteria.
-Venue that uses local, organic and sustainable food (local winery! mmmmm WINE). The kicker: I noticed recycled paper TP in the bathrooms while testing out their restaurant. :) Being a winery also means minimal decorations- the natural venue will do it all. The winery also uses their own cutlery and dishes- so all washable and not wasteful. (Actual wedding at the winery on their website!)
-Recycled paper invites and no programs, menus, seating cards or STD's (hahah, YES non-wedding readers, "Save The Dates" in wedding speak is refered to as STDs... and is rarely laughed at. I giggle every. single. time) and online RSVP (via soon to begin wedding blog!).
-Local and sustainable grown in season flowers. Maybe I could find some awesome friends to pick them?? lol.
- No favours. Seriously, who ever keeps the "love cd's" etc that you get at weddings? We've decided to donate a sum to charity in memory of family members who have passed.
- Cupcakes made with organic/fair trade ingredients as our "cake" by a local pastry chef (still working that one out... but it will happen!).
- Vintage pottery/planters for table decorations (I'm hoping to grow succulents... we'll see how that turns out!!).
- One maid of honour, one best man. That's it. They are both asked to wear whatever they feel fabulous/handsome with. As it will be outside, and I will be wearing white- I'm not worried about her dress clashing.... with my white dress. Same goes for mothers of the bride/groom.
Unfortunately "green" wedding dresses have been impossible to find. What is out there is completely online-order and usually very non-traditional. The dress is about the only part that I'm a princess about... My compromise has been to find designers that have their dresses made in Canada and are therefore sweatshop and slave-free. They are also more expensive. Sigh.
This post seems a little crazy, as I've never been the foofy "wedding" type. I never dreamed about my wedding growing up and swore up until about three years ago that I would NEVER get married. The best advice I have read so far about how to plan this entire affair... to think of it as a celebration of our love and commitment... and NOT as "THE WEDDING". This truly has helped put things in perspective. There are no "rules", just us and our family and loved ones coming together to celebrate our... gulp... marriage.