Harsh? Naw, like most teenagers, high school was stressful and the people who attended the reunion are those who stayed behind. And didn't change. I never would have guessed that some people just will never mature past 18 years old... how is that even possible?
I attended grade primary until eight with the same 26 classmates and grades nine to twelve in a high school with 400 students. My graduating class was 90, one of the largest in recent years. Needless to say, variety and choice in friends wasn't really an option.
Obviously my experiences way way back then have shaped who I am today. Despite the fact that I am just becoming more confident and comfortable in who I am with each year that goes by, those difficult years between grade 5 and 12 (yep, I was a favourite bullying target for a long time) stay with 'emotional' me.
A few things I wish I could tell elementary and high school me:
- Those girls are jerks. Give it a few years and they won't matter anymore.
- I wish I could morph my confidence and 'take no shit' attitude into 12 year old me.
- Reading IS cool. Being smart is true fabulosity. All that reading will seriously pay off in a wicked University undergrad and master's degree. Trust me.
- Ditch the 'best friend'- see following point:
- Rooming with your high school 'best' friend in residence is not a good idea. At least you'll discover what a real friend means.
- Trust me, guys will think the fact that you're a Trekkie and Sci-Fi, Fantasy girl uber cool. (at least the interesting guys). Don't hide who you are.
- The interesting people, those worth knowing, will like you with your sincerity, emotional sensitivity, intelligence and passion. It's just that people worth knowing don't attend your high school.
- You will make amazing friends and meet the most interesting people.
- You are beautiful just how you are.
The best decisions I made as a pre-teen, teenager:
- Reading during lunch breaks instead of trying to survive being made fun of by my class in an effort to be liked. They're all mostly still jerks and never were worth my time anyway.
- Waiting for drinking and sex. Virginity was my flag and boy was that a good idea.
- Never smoking weed. Although I have nothing against it; singing was my emotional outlet and smoke damages vocal folds.
- Leaving the province for university. As most of my high school classmates went to Halifax or Université Ste Anne, it would have been like a slightly larger version of high school. A provincial buffer was perfect.
What amazes me is how confidence really does arrive the older you get. You couldn't pay me to be 19 again, or even my early twenties. I love my little laughing creases, my wrinkly thumbs and fingers and my 'woman' thighs.
Even a recent short 'cyber bullying' on twitter wasn't enough to transport me back to that place where I would have just smiled meekly and agreed. Instead, I stuck with my opinions, stated that I felt a bit ganged up upon and wished everyone all the best at the CASLPA conference.
(quick poll: would you tweet during a professional research/educational training presentation or talk?)
Has yoga helped with these moments? I'd have to say yes, although yoga hasn't been enough. I have sent positive thoughts and healing energy, dedicating some practices to people who have hurt me in the past. Yoga has helped me breathe through anxiety and insecurity. The right yoga class has also helped me connect and love my body the way it is.
As we all move through the spiral of life, like the Tower card in Tarot; change can be scary but is always accompanied by growth. Yoga has helped me choose when to spiral inward and when to spiral outward.
article and photograph copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com