driveway to my parent's cottage... where we stayed this weekend
This weekend sure tested my ability to centre, to ground. My family is close, my extended family (aunts and uncles, tantes et oncles), are extremely important and have been a part of my life since I can remember. I have come to understand that not all families are this way, Andrew's family isn't. Although I have lost several family members to cancer (and other reasons), I have only said 'goodbye' once... when I was 15 years old. The experience haunted me for years, and I don't think I quite grasped it then.
This weekend, Andrew and I made an emergency three hour drive 'home' to visit my Uncle who is dying of cancer.
Strangely, I thought that because he was the one Uncle that I have had the least amount of contact with, that it would be easier. I was very wrong. He was diagnosed a few months ago, during a seemingly inconsequential operation. No treatment was recommended... He is in his home, recognized me and we actually had a lucid conversation. We'll be making another trip very soon, it was apparent. He looked so much like my father...
I really can't write more about the visit, it was personal and I want this experience to remain sacred... it still feels raw.
Throughout the visit and afterwards I breathed. I practiced grounding my Self, holding on to that connection I was there to make. Despite feeling like a weird empty husk today, I know that my family, Andrew and what I have learned through yoga helped.
I also know that yoga has opened up those closely shut doors on my emotion that have kept me disconnected. Once we recognize our interconnectivity, to each other and our planet, it becomes harder to separate the 'me' from 'us'. As a result, each person, each exchange FEELS so much more. If it is a part of 'me', then I feel it as US.
Me and BACON, my brother's Giant Breed Saint Bernard on the lake
It's important that as I stumble through this life, that I cultivate healing to help with this. At the same time, I do believe that although many might deem as 'drama' I see this emotional sensitivity as Right.
On this day of Love and Family, I wish you all, EcoYogi-ni's, Light and Connection.
article and photograph copyright of EcoYogini at ecoyogini.blogspot.com