Hello Ashtanga... Do you still like me?

A few years ago Ashtanga and I broke up. Not for good, but perhaps more like a: "I need some space". Deleted him(her?) from my facebook, didn't answer phone calls or emails... you know. Some breathing room. (Me watching the ocean in front of the studio)

I've read several places how yogi/nis go through this evolution in their practice, exploring new styles, absorbing and embracing asanas and instructors which ultimately creates a practice perfectly unique.

When I first started my yoga practice, I gravitated towards Ashtanga. Weird since I couldn't even touch my toes and had the arms of rubbery string beans, but my mind was TOTALLY Ashtanga. No stopping, always worrying, thinking go go go. I couldn't stop and slower practices which force the body to stop just created a space for anxiety and stress to fester. I wasn't ready. If I beat my body into exhaustion then MAYBE I could lay still for savasana (it took two years to feel comfortable closing my eyes).

In any case, once I left Montreal and began my personal practice in BC I

began to notice that the quick in-out of postures and rigidity of sequence in Ashtanga just wasn't making me or my body happy. I wanted to slow down

and practice each posture safely- which I wasn't able to do yet with the quick movements in Ashtanga. So I stopped attending or considering all

Ashtanga yoga. For three years. (The side of the studio's rustic balcony)

Tonight was my first facebook message "Hey, it's been a while... so.. how're ya?" with Ashtanga Primary Series. I was nervous, ready to be defensive and storm off in my righteous, "Ashtanga sucks!" attitude... and was completely, pleasantly surprised. I could actually move through the sequence without gasping for air. I felt strong and happy. The repetitiveness of the Sun Salutations was a nice break for my mind to quiet and focus on my movements. I almost PEED MY PANTS when the strong yogini next to me went from plow to upward dog- that's possible??? I wanted to clap, but thought that would be rude...I was so excited to be chanting and the Ohms, so long neglected in such a large setting, felt beautiful. The vibrations surrounded my body and lifted my spirit. "Hello Ashtanga!!"

Despite this temporary meeting, I still believe that Ashtanga and I are not well-suited... and just aren't that good for each other.... But at least we're now friends.

I suppose the fact that it was at the Sail Loft Yoga studio helped my

feelings of giddyness. After months of being in the cement city, smelling the salty ocean air, hearing the surf and the gulls just felt overwhelming. Right, THIS is what home feels like. All that drama of trying to find the silly studio (with no sign or civic address) was marvelously worth it. Cathy, the instructor was lovely, kind and supportive (and a kick-ass yogini twice age!!). Although a 40 minute drive just doesn't sit well with my "eco" self, I will definitely make a trip out again for a special workshop or occasion (Grace, what were you thinking about the next Ashtanga event in a few weekend?? :) ).

On our drive back J., Andrew and I ate yummy yummy cookies that she brought to share. Inviting J. to yoga is such a great idea... she always brings treats!! (The view from inside the studio and bottom picture is right in front of the studio up on the cliff).

Does anyone else have break-up and reconnect yoga stories?

Blessings!

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