University was the very best thing I have ever done: leaving my small high school filled with malicious gossip and drama to find other people like me! Friends who were sincere, loving, kind and unselfconcious. I can still devour books, I love holding them and collecting them. This is one area that I'm not very excited about "greening". Reading a novel from a screen just isn't the same. I can't carry it with me to read snippets like a crazed, deprived word addict. My eyes get tired of staring at the computer and if it's a non-fiction novel, well I can't very well scribble my thoughts all over the screen now can I? We have books scattered everywhere in our apartment, holding up plants and waiting to be read.
(our book shelf... I heart it very much!)
Right now I'm finally reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert and I have to admit that it is phenomenal. For some reason I thought it would just be a whiny, annoying story about this woman's spiritual journey... and of course those of you who have read it know- it's SO not. As I'm reading about her experience at the Ashram and her perspective of the Divine I find that lately I've been holding on to a lot of negativity... and I should let it go. Most likely leftover tension from my crazy month of May, the full moon and my beautiful moontime visit. Still, last night during Karma class I practiced letting go negative thoughts. I hated the class, truthfully. The instructor (although very sweet) led us through a truly challenging practice, without mention of option for modification and with repeated admission that it was in reaction to her challenging "bootcamp" practice this week. I kept feeling myself getting angry, for those yogis around me who obviously were in pain and weren't being assisted, for my own body that was telling me to take the modifications that I knew and for my ego for feeling like the instructor was going to be disappointed that I wasn't trying the full pose... and then becoming angry that I was made to feel this way.
Then... I thought of letting go. I could choose to be angry and upset or I could choose to just do what my body felt and let go any feelings that I needed to please my instructor. The only person there I had to please was myself. So I did, sort of. Well, I practiced letting go to be honest. By the end of the class, during savasana when someone's cell phone started ringing, it didn't bother me so much. Just a little. Ok, maybe a teensy bit. But I didn't leave the class rip roaring mad- which is a bonus! :)
(books being read- Eat Pray Love & Omnivore's Dilemma and waiting to be read)
After class Andrew and I went to visit our friend's 6 month old who is in the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit at the hospital. She has a rare craniofacial syndrome that will require dozens (over 20 at least) of major surgeries before she turns 5 years old. We've been visiting her on and off over the past few months as her mother lives in New Brunswick and cannot (with two other children, her twin 6 month old and a 18 month old-ish) be here all the time. This little one has already had five surgeries and yesterday had an emergency tracheostomy (while still recovering from her last major cranio-facial surgery). Her visit put things in perspective.
Maybe because I know as a professional everything that can result from her syndrome, her future needs and struggles, what having a trach and G-tube means for future feeding and communication skills... all the therapy and work looming ahead. It was heartwrenching but inspiring to see her little body fight fight fight. Even with her differences she was just so cute. She is the reason I love working with children who have special needs. They inspire me, they make me laugh.
One bitty little disappointing Karma class is nothing compared to that.
Blessings and Happy Weekend- I will have updates from our (finally!) next Guerrilla Yoga in the Park tomorrow morning!
(article and photo credit: EcoYogini.blogspot.com)