Pranayam Like a Ninja

Pranayam has changed my life.

Oh I know- that sounds so completely New Age-y and fouffy... what can you do? I figure I watch enough Trailer Park Boys while cussing (away from children) to balance out the space-scales.

Ah, but anyone who has any voice-singing training should find it is no surprise that breathing well can certainly calm and fix a whole slew of situations.

Such as:

• Someone cuts you off while driving. Instead of cussing them out, shaking your fist and giving them the stink eye- take a belly breath and give them a calm stink-eye.
• Staff meetings. Slow, deep breaths are particularly effective here. Especially before you were hoping to say something. Breathe first and you might not come off as a belligerent douche. 
• Conversations of a difficult nature. Such as... having someone be confrontational with you on _________ insert very touchy and passionate topic. I have lots- like the environment, women's rights, feminism, acadian French... Breathing through these conversations definitely is helpful.
• Board meetings. Enough said.

I have to point out though... that deep breathing can definitely be misconstrued as rude.

Let me explain.

I have gotten so accustomed to breathing through frustration, or in order to calm my thoughts and emotions, that I just really really like how it makes me feel. So... unfortunately I have taken to breathing a bit too loudly.

In that it sounds like I am sighing.

Let me tell you- that is all kinds of awkward when you're at a board meeting, one of the members is spending some air time informing us on the financial constraints of providing staff with disability benefits, and you take a nice, deep calming breath. That is loudly heard by the director AND chair of the board. Who then look at you apologetically, like "ah- we know this is boring and off topic-sorry!"

So. My advice to all you other pranayama's and pranayamis in the making- the next time your yoga teacher tells you to take your breathing off the mat:

(My Inner Ninja by Haligonian rapper- Classified- filmed in Halifax. Très old school rapper, I love it!)

practice Ninja breathing... a kind of stealth calming breath that won't alert all those around you that you are a spoiled, annoyed lady who just wants the meeting to be over.